How Far
by The Notorious Cat
Summary: Catherine is sick of being blown off by Grissom when she hints that she wants to start a long-term relationship. What will happen when she has had enough and leaves town without warning? Will Grissom face the music and follow his heart? Grissom-Catherine
1. Strong Feelings Fall Upon Cold Shoulders

Authors Note:  
  
This started out as a one-shot, but as you can see, it grew. Got any ides on where I should go with this? Tell me.  
  
The song lyrics in this fic are from the song How Far by Martina McBride, and I swear I didn't write them. They are very good though.  
  
I wish I owned C.S.I., but I don't, so I can't take any credit for any of the characters. Sadly, someone outbid me at the auction where they were selling the shows titles and credits.  
  
That is all, I leave you to read.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Catherine strode into the break room to find Nick and Sara sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper and magazine. They both looked a little ruffled, and she could tell it wasn't from the wind.  
  
Obviously, these two had been all over each other.  
  
"Have you two been spending some quality time with one another lately? You know, there is no need for you to hide your little romance from me. I won't tell Gris. Flirt away." she said with a smile.  
  
Nick looked up at her, surprised.  
  
"How did you know?" he asked in bewilderment.  
  
"Well, for one, you're reading the classifieds Nicky. For two, Sara's magazine is upside down. And for three, I'm not deaf."  
  
Sara smiled broadly and blushed a deep shade of magenta while Catherine softly chuckled to herself.  
  
"No worries mates," she said, still laughing, "I think you two are cute as hell."  
  
"We're not the only ones you'd think were cute together..." Sara trailed off, muttering under her breath.  
  
It's a pity for her that Catherine has excellent hearing.  
  
"What was that Sara?" Catherine questioned in a sharp tone, despite the fact she knew exactly what Sara had said.  
  
Sara just took a sip of coffee, trying to hide behind her magazine. She didn't even need to tell Nick (who was the last person to catch on to anything) what she meant. He knew Cath had liked Grissom for a while, and they were all getting quite sick of watching her try to get his attention.  
  
"Oh c'mon Cath we all heard it, and we all know what it means." said a voice.  
  
They all turned to see Warrick standing in the doorway.  
  
"Oh do you now?" said Catherine smartly, shooting Warrick a look.  
  
"Yes, we do." said Nick, "But you are the only person here who doesn't want to admit it."  
  
"What is this, Gang-Up-On-Catherine Day?" she said, exasperated.  
  
"No," said Warrick calmly, "today is Make-Catherine-Finally-Realize-And- Admit-That-She-Likes-Gil-Grissom Day."  
  
Sighing, Catherine fell back onto the couch, putting her hand on her forehead. She knew they were right, but that didn't mean she was going to own up to it.  
  
"What do you guys want from me here?"  
  
"We want you to d-" Grissom entering the room cut Sara short.  
  
"Well team, I think we have a full house today. All right, Sara, Nick, you guys have an arson case downtown. Catherine, you and I have a murder in MGM, and Warrick, your flying solo today with a minor breaking and entering on the outskirts of town. Here are the keys..." he threw a pair to Warrick and Nick while pocketing one for himself, "and let's go!"  
  
"Sheesh," Nick audibly whispered to Sara, "Grissom sure seems happy. I wonder if it has anything to do with working side by side with Catherine this evening..."  
  
Sara giggled as Catherine shot her something well beyond a death stare.  
  
"Nicholas Stokes if I hear one more word out of you..."  
  
"Sorry mommy," he said in mock fear, "you'd better go catch up with daddy."  
  
Warrick couldn't help himself. He let out a chuckle and looked at the ground while Sara burst out in silent laughter.  
  
"Ugh..." Catherine sighed, wondering why she put herself through this.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Huffing, Catherine sank into an over stuffed couch.  
  
"Nick," she called, "get me some coffee will ya?"  
  
"Sure" Nick called.  
  
He poured a cup, and walked over to her. He sat on the couch with his own coffee, looking intently at her.  
  
"So," he said in all seriousness, "how'd it go?"  
  
Catherine opened her eyes.  
  
"Well, we had a vic dead in her room, knife wound to the chest. The knife was from a downstairs restaurant, a wallet belonging to her apparent boyfriend was in the room, and we found her car. It looks like a murder for love, and open and shut case."  
  
Laughing lightly, Nick shook his head.  
  
"Cath," he said, "I meant how was it with Grissom?"  
  
"Oh."  
  
Sara walked by, and upon noticing Nick and Catherine, she turned and walked into the room. She smiled at them when they noticed her, and went to sit on Nick's lap.  
  
"What're we talking about?" Sara questioned.  
  
"Grissom." Nick replied.  
  
"Oh." Sara shut up and looked at Catherine, her attention caught.  
  
Nick smiled encouragingly at her, egging her on.  
  
Catherine looked at their expectant faces, and groaned.  
  
"You guys...." She said, trying to get off topic.  
  
"We're not giving up Catherine." Nick stared keenly at her.  
  
"...Fine. Fine I'll tell you what happened."  
  
She remained silent.  
  
"Well? Well?" Sara asked.  
  
"I just told you."  
  
"You didn't say anything Cat."  
  
"I know. That's what happened! Nothing!"  
  
Catherine darted quickly out of the room and ran headlong into Grissom.  
  
"Ugh..." he said as he dropped the file he was holding. He looked to see who had run into him. There was Catherine, staring up at him as if lost in a moment in time. Her face was red, and there were tears in her eyes. Suddenly, she snapped out of it, and her expression turned to a look of incalculable hurt. She pushed past him and kept walking, straight towards the locker room.  
  
"Catherine..." _______________________________________________________________________  
  
Catherine rushed into the locker room and sat down on the bench. She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her face.  
  
Warrick watched her from where his locker hung open. She hadn't even noticed him standing there, which was very unlike Catherine. She noticed everything, which was why she made such a good C.S.I.  
  
Something was really wrong.  
  
Warrick walked over and put his arm around Catherine. She leaned over and let herself cry into him. He rubbed her back and let her sit there for a while, comforting her. He spoke softly to her, his voice calm and soothing.  
  
"What's wrong Cath?"  
  
She sniffled before speaking.  
  
"Grissom God damn it! He doesn't get it at all!! He won't let anyone in to help him or care for him, especially not me, which is crazy, because I've been his friend for years. All I want is a closer relationship, and he shuts me out. I HATE HIM!!"  
  
"Shh, it's okay. You don't hate him, or you wouldn't be so worked up about this." Warrick said in response to her rambling.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Cat, have you ever considered taking a break? You know, to sort out your thoughts and feelings? Leave Lindsay with your mother and just leave for a week. I'll tell Grissom where you are if you don't come to work tomorrow."  
  
Catherine contemplated this for a minute.  
  
"You know, that is a good idea. Excellent in fact! Yes, yes I'll do that. I'm going to take a drive, sit on a quiet beach, and stay at some unplanned hotel. Good idea Warrick."  
  
She stayed quiet for a minute before saying something else.  
  
"Thanks." Catherine said, looking into Warrick's eyes, "Thanks for understanding." Warrick pulled her into a tight embrace and planted a kiss on her forehead.  
  
"What're friends for?"  
  
Catherine got up to leave, but as she passed through the doorway, she looked back.  
  
"Warrick?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't tell Grissom, where I am. I'm going to write him a note."  
  
He smiled, "Okay."  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Catherine sat at her desk, a pen in her hand and a pad of paper before her. She had called her mom to make sure Lindsay could stay, and now all she had to do was write that God forsaken note to Grissom. She had her radio playing faintly in the background, because she got tired of sitting quietly alone in the dark. There was a pile of papers next to the trashcan; writing to Grissom was harder than she had imagined.  
  
Just then, a song came on that described what she was feeling perfectly. She wrote down the lyrics, and wrote her letter.  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
Grissom-  
  
I thought about putting "Dear" at the beginning of this letter, but that seemed to personal for you. That in fact, is the whole reason I'm writing to you. I want to start a more personal relationship with you, and I know you know that. You're not dumb Gil; I know you've seen the signs. But you choose to ignore them. You are too scared to get intimate with someone, too frightened to really let someone in. And I don't know if I can go on like that, going to work each day hoping maybe I'll catch a glimpse of you, hoping you will sit down and talk with me, and each day I go home heartbroken.  
  
So I'm leaving. For a whole week. I need to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I don't know what I think about you anymore. Heck, I don't even know if I'll come back.  
  
I'm sure you'll manage without me. You seem to have done well in the past.  
  
I heard this song on the radio. This is exactly what I feel.  
  
There's a boat I could sail away There's the sky I could catch a plane There's a train, there's the tracks, I could leave and I could choose to not come back  
  
Oh never come back  
  
There you are Giving up the fight Here I am Beggin' you to try Talk to me Let me in But you just put your walls back up again  
  
Oh when's it gonna end?  
  
How far Do I have to go to make you understand? I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are So I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say How far  
  
There's a chance I could change my mind But I won't Not till you decide What you want What you need Do you even care if I stay or leave?  
  
Oh what's it gonna be?  
  
How far Do I have to go to make you understand? I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are So I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say How far  
  
Out of this chair Just across the room Halfway down the block Or halfway to the moon  
  
How far Do I have to go to make you understand? I want to make this work so much it hurts but I just can't Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are So I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say  
  
Yeah I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say  
  
How far?  
  
How far will I have to go for you to realize your true feelings Grissom?  
  
-Catherine ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Author's Note (again!):  
  
I don't know how long I plan on making this story. I could end it in one more chapter or five more. Tell me what you think.  
  
I need ideas for Catherine's feelings and thoughts, Grissom's reaction, feelings and thoughts, and the team's feelings and thoughts. E-mail me with any.  
  
Now, YOU NOW YOU WANT TO PRESS THAT REVIEW BUTTON!!!!!!  
  
-Cat 


	2. The Sequal

OKAY, OKAY NOW I KNOW THIS ISN"T A CHAPTER BUT SETTLE DOWN!!!  
  
Alright, there was such a rush of kind reviewers that wanted an update to this story. So, I wrote part two. But, instead of posting it as a regular chapter, I decided to make a whole new story. So...  
  
The sequel to this story, How Far, is The Reason.  
  
If you wish to read it, it would probably be a lot easier to find if you just go into my profile to get to it. I also have another CSI story, A Stokes Sweatshirt, up at this time.  
  
Yes, now that there is a part 2, I'm planning on creating a part three.  
  
Thanks a lot!  
  
- The Notorious Cat 


End file.
